Serially Unemployable

This week I spoke at Thrive Business and Balance this was my first ever public speaking event. A year ago the thought of public speaking would have sent me running for the hills. But my mindset has shifted this year. When Caroline asked me to talk about my rollercoaster journey from Property to Recruitment to Beauty, I said yes. What's the worst that could happen?

I was very, very nervous. But writing the talk was genuinely cathartic. It gave me the chance to look back at twenty years of being what I can only describe as being serially unemployable.

I wanted to share it here, along with some reflections. I hope you enjoy it. And if you don't, I hope it at least makes you feel a little better about your own journey because mine has been full of failures.

And that's the point, really. Failure isn't something to hide from. It's necessary. It's how we learn. The problem is that social media feeds us highlights, so we end up comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's best bits. But everyone fails. Every single person building something has a version of this story. Ok, maybe they haven't gone into an office to fire their staff whilst breastfeeding but... It's what we do with the failures that counts.

Here's my talk.

Thank you for having me today. When Caroline asked me to come and speak, my first thought was Major imposter syndrome which is interesting given Carolines talk earlier.

I’ve never stood in a room of women and done anything like this before. I am a normal person who happens to never have had a job. Ok I am exaggerating slightly but I have been self employed since I was 23 years old for exactly 20 years. I am absolutely, thoroughly UNEMPLOYABLE.

Something I am very comfortable with. I have always wanted to work for myself and I couldn’t actually imagine working for anyone else. I can’t remember when I first wanted to become self employed. My dad is self employed and I think I have just always known I would be responsible for my own living.

I have worked in in property and recruitment then recently pivoted and retrained to be a Skin Therapist which is completely different to my other careers. I would love to stand here and tell you that this was a life long plan and all part of the long game. That I had business plan; blue prints. But, it wasn’t, I didn’t. Because most of the best things that have happened in my career have come from being spontaneous and sometimes saying yes before I felt ready. And I think so many women hold themselves back waiting for confidence, waiting for certainty, waiting for the perfect moment. But confidence rarely comes first. Action does.

So today I want to talk honestly about self-employment. The parts people don’t really put on Instagram or linkedin. The sleepless nights. The anxiety. The failures. The constant worrying. The endless no’s. Because if you’re self-employed, or thinking about becoming self-employed, you are going to hear no. A lot. Get comfortable with it. Respect it. Say it! People will tell you no.

Clients, investors, opportunities, partnerships… you’ll hear it constantly. But don’t fear it. Because one day someone says yes… and sometimes you only need one yes to completely change your trajectory. Your next yes could be in this room. And - learning to say no yourself is just as important.

Boundaries matter. Protecting your time matters. Protecting your energy matters. But don’t avoid opportunities because you’re scared of rejection. Pick up the phone. Knock on the door. Send the message. Post the video. Because the worst thing someone can say is no. And you’ll survive it. You must carry on. And you will find your yes!

I started my first business in lettings when I was 23 years old. I had balls of steel or perhaps boobs given the room today. I had worked in a letting agency for a few short months and decided I could do it better myself.

I was fearless and perhaps had an air of arrogance and naivety only a 23 year old can have. I was determined. I was also wildly unqualified! I built that business from zero to 237 properties. With no help, no connections or family ties. Just me, a phone and a laptop.

One of the biggest opportunities I got was with a developer from London. Now, I’d love to tell you there was some clever strategy behind it… There wasn’t. I just pestered them until the Director finally said YES! And that’s something about me I’ve realised over the years… when I get a bee in my bonnet about something, I go for it and I will hyper fixate on something.

I’m persistent. And sometimes that persistence changes everything.

But then… I lost it all. Overnight. Through no fault of my own. I took a call on a Friday evening and the developer had gone into administration. They accounted for the majority of my business. All my eggs were in that one basket. And anyone who’s had a business fail, or had life pull the rug from under them knows that stomach dropping feeling.

It’s devastating. Because when you’re self-employed, your business isn’t just your job. It becomes part of your identity. And failure feels very personal. But failure is part of it.

However I refused to give up and I picked myself up. Dusted myself off and started to grow the business again. Going back to almost square one, grafting, picking up the phone, hearing no’s, asking for referrals and eventually I built it back up to 180 properties and decided to sell the business. I had had enough so I sold to Linley and Simpson in 2011 when I was 28.

It was time to build and reinvent myself once again so I decided to set up a Recruitment Agency. I built the business, picked up the phone, asked for business. Again before I had experience or before I was really ready but I did it anyway.

I built the business, had a baby, then decided to grow the business. I was going into the office sometimes at 6am with a toddler at home. I cant't tell you why I did this, because when I look back it was CRAZY! Eventually I grew to five staff and an office in Leeds City Centre.

I was absolutely delighted when I got pregnant with my second child but I was still determined to grow the business. Being pregnant was not going to stop me. Growing a business is tough, mentally and physically. I look back and I probably should have slowed down when I was pregnant. Everything was against me. I lost two key staff members just before I had my baby.

I was very much managing the business and was nine months pregnant. It was so so hard. I was actually on the phone to a supplier dealing with outstanding invoices whilst in labour!

After I had my daughter I had been going in to the office every Friday with her in tow, from her being two weeks old. I needed to be there because unfortunately productivity levels from my staff were absolutely non existent and at one point the Senior Recruiter had reduced targets by 70% because he 'just felt they were too high'. The figure he had on the board would have only covered rent and one salary!

It became very apparent that I was faced with a tough decision, keep the business going and lose time with my newborn, or let them go. So I did it. I trundled into the office one Friday with my newborn in town and I let them all go. As my daughter was quite literally latched on to my boob!

No one saw it coming but I had the choice to spend time with my newborn without worrying what was happening in the office or go back in and manage them full time. This took me years to get over. But I do not regret it.

I felt guilt.

Responsibility.

Failure.

And in moments like that, you really have two choices. You let it break you… or you learn from it.

Because resilience isn’t pretending things don’t hurt. It’s letting them hurt… sitting with being uncomfortable and choosing to go again anyway. So I licked my wounds, worked from home for a further eight years and maintained work life ‘fusion’.

Then 2025 happened. Last year tested me. A lot. I was burnt out, stressed out, nothing was going right and I was running on empty. It was a very tough year both professionally and personally. I was done! But from it came the idea to pivot and follow my passion and train in something I really enjoy.

Recruitment was failing and no longer fulfilling me. I had been thinking for months what else I could do and suddenly the idea to retrain in skin came to me. It was something I had always been interested in and it gave me self employment and the flexibility to do something I enjoy.

Pivoting careers into beauty and skincare was a spur of the moment decision. Easily… something I could have talked myself out of.

Six months ago this was just an idea whilst I was watching a film with my kids on a Sunday afternoon.

Retrain as a skin specialist. Start again. Build something new.

And now it’s my reality. I could have very easily packed in self employment and gone and got a job, however the FEAR of having someone tell me what to do, what hours to work, how much I can earn, drives me every day.

It’s how we deal with our most challenging moments that counts. Because fear… fear is a huge part of all of this. People think confidence is the secret. It isn’t. I fear things all the time.

I fear failure.

I fear judgment.

I fear things not working out.

I fear people thinking “what’s she doing?”

Especially with social media. I really thought I would hate the social media side but actually I really enjoy it and find the business of it very interesting.

Showing up online is terrifying for so many people because we worry people we know are laughing at us. But do you know something I’ve learned? The people cheering for you the loudest will usually be strangers.

Always. And actually, some of those strangers become opportunities. Friends. Clients.

Six months ago Caroline didn’t know me. And now I’m standing here speaking today. That happened because I said YES. I committed to pushing myself so far beyond my comfort zone its wild to me.

I had never even attended a networking event until two months ago. Never in 14 years posted on Linkedin and now if you follow me im blabbering away every day to camera.

So if there’s something you want to do… do it scared.

Post the video.

Launch the business.

Start the podcast.

Retrain.

Speak at the event.

What’s the worst that happens? It doesn’t work? Fine. At least you tried, and you will find something that does work. Because it would be worse to wonder round wondering… What if…

Knowing you haven’t filled your potential. Because personally, I would always rather try than spend my life wondering what if. I absolutely love what I do now.

I love treatments.

I love creating content.

I love social media.

I’ve even got a podcast coming out.

And it’s funny because years ago I’d have been terrified to even post online. But showing up consistently changes things. And that’s the part people don’t want to hear. Because everybody wants success. But not everybody wants consistency.

Self-employment is not easy. You never fully switch off. However you do have flexibility and only having yourself to answer to means you can go and walk your dog at 2pm or organise your diary so you don’t have to miss school fairs or concerts. However self employment can be really lonely too which is why events like this are so inspiring and uplifting.

Success isn't luck. It's consistency.

It's showing up when nobody's clapping yet. It's continuing after rejection. It's posting when you think no one's watching. It's trying again after failure. And honestly… sometimes it's just surviving long enough not to quit.

So if there's one thing I want you to take away today, it's this: Self-employment isn't easy. You have to sit hand in hand with fear, anxiety and self doubt… and choose to do it anyway. Some years will test you. Some moments will break you. Some things won't work. But if you keep showing up… if you stay consistent… Decide to choose YOU! You will succeed and have built something that you can be proud of. That you did!

Six months ago I was sitting on my sofa watching a film with my kids, and I had an idea.

That idea is now my reality. So whatever your idea is — the one you keep talking yourself out of — I hope today it feels a little less scary.